Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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