Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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