Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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