Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
