white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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