check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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