I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
