Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
