I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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