whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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