I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate