So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life