absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
