i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize