white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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