we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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