and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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