I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
