As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
