How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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