nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
