Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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