The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
