Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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