Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
