So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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