There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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