his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
