Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
