stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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