I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
