your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
