operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
