And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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