The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
