dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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