what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
