I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
