While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think i got beer on your cat.
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