the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
