Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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