she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
