Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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