let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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