I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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