This is not my ceiling
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
