I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
