I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
