i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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