I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
