this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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