Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Responsible fail?

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  (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx
  Replies (19) Good night (1577) Bad night (5530)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is

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  (609): in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is http://tfl.nu/8llu
  Replies (5) Good night (849) Bad night (3359)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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  (937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845
  Replies (12) Good night (4165) Bad night (1156)
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  (858): View more from California

  I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.

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  (858): I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast. http://tfl.nu/8lsx
  Replies (31) Good night (4475) Bad night (1569)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.

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  (443): Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ui38
  Replies (20) Good night (1435) Bad night (3843)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone

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  (862): She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone http://tfl.nu/c8bq
  Replies (9) Good night (3587) Bad night (791)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.

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  (604): The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this. http://tfl.nu/0j6r
  Replies (8) Good night (1855) Bad night (645)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (817) Bad night (1176)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"

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  (402): He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by" http://tfl.nu/24bz
  Replies (14) Good night (563) Bad night (2275)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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  (901): A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird. http://tfl.nu/mrcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1391) Bad night (562)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.

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  (781): Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/mycr
  Replies (9) Good night (2225) Bad night (751)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly

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  (716): I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly http://tfl.nu/23d8
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.

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  (781): So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO. http://tfl.nu/2fm5
  Replies (6) Good night (626) Bad night (478)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.

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  (407): I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter. http://tfl.nu/s90t
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (338)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity

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  (203): Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity http://tfl.nu/hqbb
  Replies (0) Good night (254) Bad night (564)

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