We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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