Sponge bath it is.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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