Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Yeah, i think she was German or something.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

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  (405): Yeah, i think she was German or something. (1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment. http://tfl.nu/y6oj
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (1219)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous

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  (630): Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me (1-630): It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous http://tfl.nu/qwdq
  Replies (9) Good night (676) Bad night (2412)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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  (815): Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night http://tfl.nu/n9gx
  Replies (4) Good night (1182) Bad night (3776)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january

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  (720): I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january http://tfl.nu/n365
  Replies (18) Good night (6335) Bad night (1037)
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  (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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  (949): i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it http://tfl.nu/yzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (3420)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (5081) Bad night (923)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk

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  (713): I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk http://tfl.nu/90hq
  Replies (7) Good night (1264) Bad night (2853)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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  (914): You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property. http://tfl.nu/9au5
  Replies (14) Good night (5130) Bad night (914)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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  (423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par
  Replies (6) Good night (1918) Bad night (2529)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.

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  (574): A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments. http://tfl.nu/8p58
  Replies (6) Good night (2770) Bad night (869)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  no you're not allowed back

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night

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  (509): no you're not allowed back (412): come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night http://tfl.nu/ng3d
  Replies (4) Good night (1572) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.

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  (847): Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra. http://tfl.nu/ud2y
  Replies (8) Good night (1154) Bad night (357)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (691) Bad night (225)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (325)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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  (216): Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m0rv
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (181)

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