Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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  (517): I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans. http://tfl.nu/ad7f
  Replies (8) Good night (973) Bad night (3523)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

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  (302): Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up. http://tfl.nu/hjt8
  Replies (27) Good night (6129) Bad night (1248)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.

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  (551): 1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one. http://tfl.nu/vtrz
  Replies (51) Good night (6226) Bad night (858)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

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  (601): Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :( http://tfl.nu/zxos
  Replies (34) Good night (2350) Bad night (4990)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side

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  (847): I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side http://tfl.nu/k88p
  Replies (12) Good night (2161) Bad night (831)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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  (352): I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle. http://tfl.nu/6oed
  Replies (15) Good night (3462) Bad night (833)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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  (847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g
  Replies (14) Good night (904) Bad night (2712)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.

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  (309): Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night. http://tfl.nu/9na7
  Replies (1) Good night (1172) Bad night (823)
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  (916): View more from California

  Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".

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  (916): Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles". http://tfl.nu/t7tu
  Replies (4) Good night (1123) Bad night (648)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night

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  (585): Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night http://tfl.nu/8kd0
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (598)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1660) Bad night (410)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.

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  (985): Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it. http://tfl.nu/i5dn
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (592)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.

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  (603): I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time. http://tfl.nu/2k9l
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.

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  (804): Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69. http://tfl.nu/uhxb
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (163)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that

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  (240): Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that http://tfl.nu/cbjn
  Replies (0) Good night (156) Bad night (60)

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