easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.