Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?