if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
