So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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