i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't think brook has ever known best
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
