I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
