Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
we're so committed to being not committed
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
