she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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