i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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