hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
