you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just found puke in my bra..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
