I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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