Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
