yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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