he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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