honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
