Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was confusing and full of hummus
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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